Of Saturdays and Love

I'm home-bounded again which is what I love. From the very beginning, I never liked going out-- I mean to rave parties and the like. I would prefer reading and surfing the net or just most of the time watch movies over a bag of popcorn. The typical, couch potato nerdy type. Yet, I don't tire my butt into watching chick flicks, I'd rather watch movies which makes me think, which inspires and movies that just don't discuss the obvious. It kinds of satisfy my craving for the mysterious. However, I like to hang out and drink and sing and jam. It kind of makes me smile and that's why they call me one of the boys.

Every week, I have a ME time which is usually every Saturday where I can just sleep, sometimes go to the mall with the girls, watch movies, and cook for myself. And mind you, being alone sometimes can be so frustrating and good at the same time.

If you're going to ask me why am I not yet with somebody today?

I know I am not a difficult person and so are the men* who sometimes expresses their intentions. It is because, there are times that I don't believe in true and real love.... that there are times that I lose all faith in fate... that with all due respect Universe, I guess my path is to be alone all my life. Call me skeptic, cynical of some sort, but let me ask you... have you ever been consistent all your life? I guess that is what's lacking in men today. CONSISTENCY. They tell you their intentions, they will be there for you, and in a snap... poof! they're gone! So what was that?! Playing and goofing around? I guess I never really trained myself in that kind of game and I would never dare to. And just a hypothetical question: What if the time I decide to do so, I hurt someone who is just like me and the worst, I already stumbled to someone who is strong enough to be a man for me? I'm just wondering, how far will he go? And one more thing, yeah, I am scared. And so what? most people are scared too, I bet they just don't want to admit. Nevertheless, I want to meet that person who is as scared as I am , but is willing to take that risk of going that direction again.

I know Charles Xavier isn't.

In the meantime, I will let me fantasize over him...

Gulp.....

Find me,

D.